It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Randomize
