my being single is dangerous.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
