He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
