Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
