we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
you made out with another girl for some wings
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
