I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
