haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
