omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
