We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize