I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
My feet surprised me
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