how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
