I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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