i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
