she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
