i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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