Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
