Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
