I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
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