worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
