I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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