Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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