Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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