sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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