to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
