is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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