I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
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