Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize