Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
