were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
