i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
