I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You need a sexual gate keeper
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
