I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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