Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the day after is always just damage control
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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