I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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