I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
