the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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