yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i wish my penis had a tongue
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
