it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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