Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
