Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
