He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
