Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize