Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
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Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
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He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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