Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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