Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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