Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i think i have two assholes
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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