i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
