i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
