I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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