Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize