Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
