Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
