I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
