im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
