There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
