Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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