My liver just broke up with me...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
